positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
PANTIES FOUND
tell me about the eggs
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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