Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
