I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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