exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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