people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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