Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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