Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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