and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
