dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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