Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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