Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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