I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
As shirtless as possible
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
