hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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