id be glad to
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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