Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At least make sure they are 18
Why
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
