peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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