Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
