no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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