idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
