If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
