So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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