I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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