If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize