what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
