I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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