no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
