I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
