it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
