BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
