He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
