Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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