Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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