i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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