so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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