i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
