If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
