It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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