let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
