Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
