You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
