this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
