plz talk dirty to me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
