id be glad to
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize