I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.