So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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