Pappa wants mamma naked
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
