Small penises have feelings too.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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