I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
