So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is Oprah even human
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
