Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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