saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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