burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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