So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
