She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
