Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
