Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
