How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.